Monday, July 10, 2017

Everyone's a Aliebn When Ur a Aliebn Too: A Book by Jomny Sun

Report to the Interstellar Committee re: What is an Earth Book?

Based on a study of everyone’s a aliebn when ur a aliebn too by jomny sun.

1. Earth Books contain simple drawings, often accompanied by words. But not always. Sometimes just simple drawings.

Rumors abound that some Earth Books contain ONLY words. I cannot verify this.

2. Despite reports to the contrary, spelling in Earth Books has not been standardized.

3. Nothing is not a minor character in Earth Books.

4. Wordplay is highly valued in Earth Books, particularly what are called “puns.” Puns are called “cringe-worthy” when they are highly effective. Puns may be a similar species to “Dad Jokes.” The Lesser Earth People do not think puns are worthy of anything but disdain. The Even Lesser Earth People write about Earth Books that use puns and use those very same puns, thus lessening the impact of those puns for the reader. Such actions are worthy of disdain.

5. Earth Books cause readers to “catch feelings.” (Earth People also catch fish and catch illnesses.) These feelings include but are not limited to the following: sadness, happiness, regret, compassion, empathy, remorse, tenderness, hope, and a smile. Some Lesser Earth People say that a smile is not a feeling, but those Lesser Earth People tend themselves not to smile, even when no one is around. “Catching feelings” is related to “The Feels.” Earth Books have “All The Feels.”  

6. Earth Books can be read by Earth Children and Earth Adults, together or separately. Earth Books show us that friends don’t have be human, but friends make us more human.

7. Reading Earth Books like everyone’s a aliebn when ur a aliebn too make Earth People More instead of Lesser.

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